Marriage Matters

He says: “I want to give my children whatever they need.”

She says: “We pay child support – that’s enough.”

Nicki says: Paul’s ex-wife gets generous child support from us, but doesn’t appear to use it to provide for the children. They show up with old clothes and worn-out shoes when they come for visitation. I don’t think we should spring for new winter coats and boots while they are with us – it’s costing a fortune.

She says: “Our house is full of his junk!”

Mary says: Tim is a hoarder – our house is beginning to look like one of those TV shows, and I can’t get my car in the garage. I don’t know if I can live like this – how can I get him to get rid of his stuff?

He says:“I’m a collector, not a hoarder.”

Tim says: I am a collector, not a hoarder. I know where all the elements of my collection are. For example, I have an amazing group of vintage surfboards in the garage; they just need a little sealing and waxing to be really valuable. Mary needs to lighten up.

SHE SAYS: “I’m just practical. Why can’t Patrick see that?”

Sally says: I don’t feel as if I’m negative – I’m practical! You need to see all the possible consequences of an action before you do anything. I just don’t understand why Patrick doesn’t get that.

HE SAYS: “Sally is negative about everything!”

Patrick says: Sally is a real Eeyore – she seems to see the negative side of everything. I am much more upbeat, but it’s beginning to get me down as well. What can we do to resolve this difference in attitude?

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