My boyfriend was invited to a wedding and I wasn’t

Your Life
Gelasia Marquez, PhD
September, 2016

My boyfriend was invited to a wedding and there was no plus-one on the invitation. I think he should refuse if I can’t go.

What do you think?

First, why do you feel this way? Is this about the principle of the matter, or do you feel left out? We all come into relationships with different expectations about the roles other people play in our lives. How important is this person in your boyfriend's life? You should see a difference among an inviation from a distant cousin, a best friend or an ex-girlfriend. Before issuing an ultimatum, assess your own feelings and then have a conversation.

Second, wedding invitation lists depend on so many different factors: the budget, the size of the church and reception location, the so-called “closest” friends, and let’s not forget the “must-be-invited” relatives that parents insist upon.

Finally, an invitation is just that: a request, not a command. Recipients are free to decide whether they can attend or not.

So talk to each other – and also listen carefully – so each of you understands the other.

Thoughtfully consider all the alternatives, and then be at peace with the decision you make together.

Pray 2 Corinthians 13:11: “Be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.”